Internal Conversations

Dear mama, it’s me your little boy

Wherever you are I pray you are fine

Looking down on us smiling

Not a day goes by that I don’t miss you

Sometimes I sit and wonder

Reminisce on days gone by

The once upon a times

I think of a time when you weren’t just a thought

But existed in reality

Midway asking myself the clichés

As I conjure up the hypotheticals

The what could have beens

Randomly contrasted by the reality,

 Of the what ares

How I miss you, we, the times that used to be

I still sing our song, as I remember you.

Now all that is left are these echoes and reverberations

Once upon a blue moon, so it seems

I remember the strength you adorned 

That saw us through many a turbulent time

Twice upon a yellow star

 I remember your love and affection

All had a vicariousness to them

Thrice upon a galaxy

I remember our excursions

The existence of a happier time adorned with you

Alas these times are but once upon a time

Memories to linger and dwell upon

Never shall we forget to be grateful

For our gem, the you that you were

Till we meet again Mamushka

With love, your little Jay Jay

Brace yourself

It is that time of the year when we all make plans and set goals for the new year. Goals are good to set but they can be useless if not set wisely. In 2018 resolve to approach life differently by setting goals that are feasible, make a commitment towards working tirelessly so that at the end of the year you will achieve your goals. When setting goals, you need to B.R.A.C.E yourself, B.R.A.C.E being an acronym which stands for belief, relationships, ambition, commitment, emotions. These 5 components I believe are key when it comes to setting goals and achieving them. 
1    Belief - If you do not have a strong conviction in the potential that is vested in you to achieve your goals, then there is no need for you to set them. You need to believe that what you are setting in motion you will be able to achieve by taking the necessary steps to achieve your goal.
2    Relationships - The people you surround yourself with have a large role to play in whether or not you achieve your goals. It is of absolute importance that you surround yourself with people who do not only see the potential in you but people who are willing to help you turn that potential into tangible results. Evaluate all the relationships you are in, if they are not adding any value to you then they are most definitely draining you. Put an end to relationships that add no value to you because what you really need are relationships that will edify and help you grow, better positioning you to achieve your set goals.
3    Ambition - It is that desire to succeed, that passion to see yourself achieve the goals you would have set for yourself. Ambition plays a vital role in your work ethic, if you have ambition the amount of effort you direct towards achieving your goals can and will see you succeed.
4    Commitment - In order for you to realize your goals there is need for commitment without compromise. In setting your goals be committed to work hard and to put in the time, it may be hard at times, a couple of sleepless nights may be thrown into the mix and sacrifices will surely be made but in the end it will all be worth the effort.
5    Emotions - Last but not least we have emotions, yes emotions. Do not set your goals based on what you are feeling at a particular point in time, that is a dangerous thing to do. When you climb off your emotional cloud your zeal to achieve those goal will in most cases also dwindle. When setting your goals be of a sober mind and keep your emotions at bay.
In 2018 B.R.A.C.E yourself, it is a year filled with many an opportunity to do big things and to excel beyond limits. So go out there set goals, put in the effort to achieve those goals, B.R.A.C.E yourself.

Friends and Words Series III - Holy City

The third and final piece in this series comes from my good friend Millicent. The piece expresses how people can have different experiences of the same situation. It is a poem about embracing the experiences of others and validating them despite their difference from ours. It visits the 'damaged' among us and seeks to find how they got there and how having the right support system can change everything. I hope you enjoy the read

Holy City

When I tell the story now
I do so with the indifference only an old woman who has seen too much by now can be forgiven for
What I mean is I do not forgive myself,
For not doing justice to the space you left behind
I thought of growing flowers in it
I bought them but it was not long before I sat down and saw the hem of the thought I knew lay in the back of my mind somewhere all along
And when I pulled it closer to places in my mind that I visit more often I knew I was right
Lillies cannot pay tribute to your avalanche.
Did you know about broken ciggarettes?
Of broken dirty things you would never touch?
Not to the Holy of you !
But mostly because you did not see how two broken things would heal each other.
Did you know there are people whose bones were made with crevices where broken things can live
Who know broken things kill but they are still the only things they reach for at 3am when their broken places hurt
They place the broken things slowly on their broken places and listen carefully to the two old friends sing an old song
They shake their hands after the song and silently courtsey and the other pushes aside to create room for the other
The song leaves an echo that feels like a slap
Like heavy pounding
Bt they know it all dies down
So they wait for the short period they will know peace
As broke nurses broke
Even if we all know that these kinds of truces do not last
Do we not at least owe it the people who are broken in diffrent ways than us to stop trying to fit their kind of crevices in our own
If we want to create a Holy city out of this pain
Can we not at least start  by creating a shrine of its source?
Did you know that just because you are broken does not mean when your friend says it hurts you can say 'I know how it feels"?
Will you leave with the peace of not knowing? Of trying to truly find out?
Of knowing the kind of pain that can kill a person fast is the kind that people have reduced into an " I know it too" kind of cliche
Will you admit that you did not grow flowers in your broken places because flowers have never done justice to hurricanes
And that if today, in this person, you have met a hurricane.the best gift you can be to them is to not be a flower.

Friends and Words Series II - Never Easy

This is the 2nd piece in the series coming from my good friend Sandra. This piece is encouraging whoever reads it to stand firm, the journey at times may be tough but never lose the faith. Ultimately you will get to your destination. Enjoy the read.

Never Easy

'We have been there' is what they tell me.

Coupled with disgusting smiles of disapproval.

It isnt that I haven't been there,

Rather they fail to realise we took different paths.

Some took the clean tarred little road,

Yet others had the more challenging rocky one.

For me it has never been easy,

I have had to jump over and go under things.

Never was it easy,

Others complain because their path was a little dusty

I am no judge neither am I a jury

There were times I had to pull thorns out of my skin

As they pierced me in mid trudge

Never did I lose focus

Eye on the prize. Mind over matter

Had to carry my siblings

One in each hand, another on my back.

It was never easy for me,

I dipped my hands in pots of honey

Surrounded by bees

But here I stand unscathed, unfazed

I am not were I want to be

Neither am I were I used to be.

Rather grateful I made it this far.

Friends and Words Series 1 - Scars

Kicking off the series, we feature Sue of soulfulmiss.com, a good friend of mine. The featuring piece, Scars, with the double purpose of being the first in this series and  being a dedication to the 16 days against gender based violence movement just felt right. Enjoy the read.

Scars

Every time you open your mouth,

a nail to my cross you strike.

Every word you utter,

like a hammer it drives it in.

Every name you call me,

strips me naked.

In the name of this stupid emotion I stay

Fearing prejudice and discrimination

What would they think of me?

Slowly conformed

Evolved into this new me

The once liberal and free spirit

Now lives for approval

Constantly being told I am not good enough

and every other thing I do wrong

Manipulated into thinking I am nothing!

Should have left when the red flags first came up.

This reflection staring at me in the mirror,

I do not recognise.

Conditioned to accept what is wrong

A soul bearing invisible scars.

The scars  I bear - dead man walking

Friends and Words Series

Poetry is a powerful medium of expression and for the next 4 Fridays of December I will be running a Friends And Words series on my blog were I will be featuring  pieces from some of my friends who also happen to be wordsmiths. I am definitely looking forward to this series and my hope is you will enjoy it. Feel free to share, like and leave a comment. Much love Jay.

Transparent with Courtney Antipas

Courtney Antipas is a Christian rapper from Zimbabwe who started rapping at age 11. As of the time he started taking his art seriously he has released 12 projects and is set to release his 13^th project titled Transparent on the 20^th of October. Courtney has had the opportunity to share the stage with some of Christian Hip Hop’s big names, which include the likes of KB, Da T.R.U.T.H and Sho Baraka. Courtney feels that the main stumbling block to the growth of Christian Rap like any other form of artistic expression in Zimbabwe, is in most cases the inability to make a living from it. This stems from the fact that people are not big on buying music, something he is working tirelessly to address. For aspiring Christian artists Courtney is of the view that there is a need for them to continue to explore their talent and be comfortable with it as it is something that is God given.

Since the release of his first project Courtney has never looked back. He views music as a powerful medium of expression which if used in the right way, can have a positive impact on people’s lives. Rap, more so Christian rap, Courtney feels has been lacking transparency in expressing the challenges that Christian rappers as believers go through. Something he seeks to change, as he pours his heart out on the ep through being honest about the struggles he has faced. Courtney’s aim to make real life honest music is partly where the ep title is derived from. He draws his inspiration for the EP from the trials and tribulations he has faced, something which can be felt throughout the EP.

Transparent for Courtney is a deeply personal project. In the EP he talks of the suffering he has endured as a result of experiencing loss, how he has come out on the other end still trusting in God. He relates personal struggles in a bid to motivate and encourage people to start dialogue and break the cycle of suffering in silence so as to bring about healing. Transparent for Courtney also represents a call to challenge wrong perceptions and stereotypes, in ‘Be Yourself’ one of the songs on the ep. Courtney encourages Africans not to be swayed by the rhetoric that nothing good can come out of Africa but instead be proud and embrace their Africaness.

Transparent drops on the 20^th of October but you can preorder the ep here.